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Fates (novel in-works)
Mon Jul 21, 2008, 09:44 PM
Post: #1
Fates (novel in-works)
Heya! Well, I've finally decided to share parts of this story I've been working on. It's loosely based on my fursona. It's a tad too long for me to post everything here, so I'll be posting bits of it. If you guys enjoy it so far, I'll add the next part of the story.
All criticism is welcomed and very much appreciated so feel free to rant or rave as much as you want.

Prologue (Part 1 of 3)

Earth. 2579 AD. The whole world is in chaos. Coupled with extremists and the now scarce fossil fuel supply, whole nations went to war with one another. The world was not split into two this time unlike the other wars. Everyone was for themselves. United Nations has failed and only pacts between neighboring nations have been honored.

In this global unrest, many weapons the world has pledged not to use anymore came into the light of battle once again. Nuclear mushroom cloud explosions carpeted the world while chemical and pathogenic weapons of war beat down whatever has been left standing.
With the chaos that ensued, many other species died. In the end, only humanity remained of the multi-cellular animal species in the world. Yet humanity too seemed to be at its last legs.

Call it justice from Mother Nature or a freak accident; humanity itself began to change. Men, women, and children, exposed to radiation and irradiated carcasses of dead animals began to transform. Nobody was spared from this, as hands became hooves, claws, fins or claws and bodies became scaled, feathered, or furred. Still, not even this stopped the nature of man to wage war on one another.

In Ortigas Center, Pasig City, in the country of the Philippines, a fox boy clambered back into his refuge of the now ruined SM Megamall, carrying with him a sniper rifle, a pistol, and some cans of food. This boy, changed while looking at a stuffed arctic fox in a local museum in a time when the country was thought to be at peace and life seemed to resume normally, looked left and right as he climbed the rubble heap leading to the entrance to his makeshift refuge. When he entered the building, he quickly hid behind a fallen slab of concrete, hoping that in the event that he was spotted, he could fool the people that saw him.

It was a tough life for the boy, hiding away and hoping that he doesn’t get caught and killed by the invaders. His country had fallen when a neighboring nation attacked it, launching a nuclear arsenal and claimed the country as its own. The invaders quickly dispatched a curfew on the populace, forcing able-bodied people to work in factories to produce food and weapons of war for the oppressors. Many of the people of the land called to arms, escaping the net of the invaders and establishing a freedom-fighting force. This fox boy was one of them that escape, but he was alone. He managed to flee into the building while a rebel group attacked the factory he was forced to work at. In the chaos, he ran away and fled into the building. Unfortunately he hadn’t seen any members of the resistance; only patrols of the invaders.

He managed to get these weapons and food items from a supply point for the patrols. He hoped that he could find the main resistance and join them, hopefully avoiding any patrols. In the event that he was spotted though, he also hoped that he could escape safely. He was confident with his skills with both weapons, but these skills were only obtained in games, not in real life.

Unfortunately for the boy, he was spotted on his last excursion. The patrol that saw him stealthily followed him to the building. As the boy made his way to his makeshift den inside the ruins, he heard a shift in the rubble. Turning behind him, he could make out a shadow that moved quickly out of the light. Fearing the worst, the boy quickly dove behind a concrete slab, hoping that his scent would be masked by the scent of the still decaying bodies of those that perished in the mall’s collapse. Unfortunate still, he could now smell the men, and he could hear them mumble to each other. The boy started to pant, fear gripping him. He dropped his rifle on the ground and held his pistol. The soldiers heard the fall of the gun and thought it was a sign of surrender. He heard one of them speak.

"Come out of there with your hands up!" He then knew what the soldiers were thinking. His thoughts went back to the times he was back at the factory, the suffering he endured. He didn’t want to go back, but there was no escape for him. The boy calmed down and gripped his pistol steeling his nerves. Then, with the cool head style of an action hero, the boy popped out of the rubble and pointed his gun at the first soldier he saw. The soldiers were surprised by his action, giving him time to fire and dive back. He shot two bullets. The first bullet hit the concrete near the soldier; the next one hit the soldier in the arm. With the soldier, a tiger, growling in pain the other soldiers fired back. The boy did his best to hide himself as he peeped out of the slab and fired back; with the pitch-black surroundings looking like it was lit to him due to his fox eyes. Time seemed to slow down as the bullets whizzed past him or hitting the concrete slab. As the firefight continued, he started to hear a female voice.

Trias…. The boy was surprised. Someone was calling his name. Trias…. This made the boy hesitate, giving a chance to the sniper of the patrol. This sniper quickly fired a round at the boy, hitting him in the right shoulder. As he fell back to the ground, wincing in pain, everything began to look brighter. He then could hear the voice again. Trias. As the brightness began to blind him, he saw the silhouette of one of the soldiers above him with gun trained in between his eyes. As he became blinded, he heard the voice again. Trias, if you do not wake up right now, it’s the Principal’s office for you.

[Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=4&...ype=symbol][Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=W&...ype=symbol][Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=G&...ype=symbol]

+2: Put a white 2/4 fox spirit token into play.
-3: Creatures you control get +2/+2 and have vigilance until end of turn.
-9: Creatures you control get vigilance, double strike, trample, and lifelink until end of turn.

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Tue Jul 22, 2008, 01:32 AM
Post: #2
RE: Fates (novel in-works)
Hmm.. Well, I'm a writer myself and from a writer's point of view, there has been a number of inconsistent tense, as mentioned by Smyle and I find some sentences are rather redundant. Redundant as in I noticed you did use certain word or expression twice or thrice, which would have been better if you did use some other words to replace them.
Such words or sentences like "In the event that...."
I noticed you used this sentence twice in your story. And to add insult to injury, you've used this sentence only about a paragraph away, killing the enthusiasm with its redundancy.
Also, give the poor boy a name. Using "the boy" for too many times tend to make the story sounds redundant too. I know this is only a part of the whole story and maybe at a certain point you'll tell his name eventually, so I'll leave this critic here.
Then, when you do do dialogues, separate them into another line of paragraph, say for example,

"Come out of there with your hands up!" He then knew what the soldiers were thinking.

Could have been better if you did this instead,

"Come out of there with your hands up!"

He then knew what the soldiers were thinking.


I'm not saying that it's wrong to fantasize, but it too, has to be err... logic?
Okay.. you mentioned "boy", good, I'll say a 10 to 15 year old boy. That's my impression, not a young adult yet. And he's err... shooting and combating two soldiers ala Matrix style? (Okay.. the boy was after all dreaming.. maybe it could happen~)

Uhm.. also, why the two different colour? (I sound so negative now.. Apologies be at paws..)

I'm not saying it's all THAT bad, cause you still get marks from the various exotic words that you use, but always bear in mind that simple words always gets the User's Choice Award. As much as we are encouraged to use flowery and bombastic words in our education system, readers will feel all the more comfortable with simpler words to accommodate their flow of reading. As in, they won't have to stop and wonder what the words actually meant, but could instead go on to enjoy reading and understanding what's happening in the story.

On regards of proofreading, do find another reader to do it, better yet a writer. We are never sensitive to our own mistakes. That has always been a writer's golden advice.

Certainly there's room for more improvement and I do hope you'll post the story here in AA. I'll be looking forward to it~ A thousand apologies should I have went overboard in commenting.

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Tue Jul 22, 2008, 04:52 AM
Post: #3
RE: Fates (novel in-works)
David Snow Wrote:Hmm.. Well, I'm a writer myself and from a writer's point of view, there has been a number of inconsistent tense...

sMyle Wrote:However, and maybe just to nitpick a little... did you proofread your story?

No, no. It's okay. ^^ I've always wanted someone to critically read what I've written. The only real writing lessons I had were from primary and secondary school...I feel grateful that you've shown me those faults.

And no...I haven't had someone proofread it sadly yet. This is still in its conceptual stages; right now I'm just writing chapter one. Haven't given it the thought to have someone proofread it yet.
David Snow Wrote:On regards of proofreading, do find another reader to do it, better yet a writer. We are never sensitive to our own mistakes. That has always been a writer's golden advice.

Yeah. That's why I've decided to post it and show it to you all also. I've always felt that something might be wrong in there, but I just couldn't figure it out with my own eyes. That is why I said that all criticism is welcomed.
And yeah...I guess my real weakness is I tend to use "flowery" words a lot.

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+2: Put a white 2/4 fox spirit token into play.
-3: Creatures you control get +2/+2 and have vigilance until end of turn.
-9: Creatures you control get vigilance, double strike, trample, and lifelink until end of turn.

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Tue Aug 05, 2008, 07:28 PM
Post: #4
Prologue Parts 2 & 3
This may be too long, but I thought I'd give you that threat whist I get my story rolling again. I've had it on hiatus for a long while since I had my story proofread (actually copy-edited, since I looked up proofreading and what you guys said was actually copy-editing). I've had a friend do it, since he volunteered for one...and he's an Education graduate with a knack for English, so....
Without further ado, here is the rest of the prologue. Again, feedback is greatly appreciated...negative or positive

Prologue (Part 2 and 3)

Trias woke up with a jolt. Sleepily, he looked ahead, and then spotted an elderly lady in a teacher’s uniform. This made his eyes widen and all traces of sleepiness faded away. He looked at the lady attentively. The lady shook her head, sighing.

“Mr. Trias Seres Rozano.” Trias started to bow his head, hearing his name being said in full right in front of the class. “This is the third time you fell asleep in this class this week.” Trias closed his eyes. It was true; it was the third time in a row this week that he fell asleep at her class. He couldn’t help it; he was up till midnight playing an online game based loosely on Norse mythology. He was trying to stop, but his character in-game was already at level twenty one. “Do you find my class boring?” Trias looked at her and bowed his head a bit before shaking it.
“No, ma’am Mercedo.” From the class, he could hear some of his classmates giggling at him and some whispers coming from here and there. Ms. Mercedo sighed.
“Very well…. Can you please answer problem number three on the board please?”

Trias looked at her and nodded, then looked at the blackboard. He then put on his glasses so he could take a good look. Finding the problems on the board familiar, he looked at his notebook on his desk and nodded. Luckily for him, before he fell asleep he answered the problems first on his notebook. He straightened his clothes, picked up his notebook and got up from his chair. He then made his way to the chalkboard, writing down the answer to the algebraic equation with a piece of white chalk nearby. Once he was done, he looked at his teacher. Ms. Mercedo nodded.
“Yes, that is correct. Take your seat, Mr. Rozano.” While Trias took his seat back at the center of the second row, Ms. Mercedo looked at the rest of the class. “Now then, how many of you got the right answer?”

As Trias watched while the rest of the problems were being solved, he sighed deeply. Some part of him wanted that dream to be real, at least a part of that dream. There, he felt he was more alive. But in reality, he is just a regular 5’11, sixteen year old, fourth year high school student with brown eyes, short, black hair and glasses. He was of average build though one couldn’t see it through his school uniform of a white polo shirt with the school logo on the breast pocket, navy blue pants, and black leather shoes. Quelling the thoughts of his recent dream, he focused on the black board.

The rest of the class went uneventful for Trias and his classmates. The teacher gave more equations to solve while they waited for the bell to ring. Some of the students got out their cellphones and started to make and send text messages while others were drawing stuff on their notebooks. Trias however was looking around, trying to keep himself away from boarding the next train to Sleepyville. As he looked around, everything was the usual stuff he saw everyday in class. However, when he looked at the windows to his right, he saw a surprise. There, seated on one of the low walls in between the arches, was an arctic fox in full winter fur in a tropical climate in the middle of summer. Trias was surprised by what he saw, with his eyes opened wide in disbelief. With all feeling of drowsiness gone, he hastily took off his glasses and tried to wipe them clean with his white polo shirt uniform. He then put his glasses on and took another look, and was in awe. His eyes weren’t deceiving him. The arctic fox was staring at him, with its crystal blue eyes giving off an aura of mysticism. He then heard his teacher’s voice again.

“Okay class, please answers these problems now.” Trias quickly turned his attention towards his teacher. When his gaze focused on her, Trias got another surprise. Instead of seeing his teacher, he saw a grizzly bear, shaped like the people from his dream. What surprised him the most was when that bear spoke. “For our next lesson please do an advanced reading of chapter six….” The bear had the same voice as his teacher. The bear was wearing the same clothes, had hair and had the same hairstyle, and even sported the same glasses. He quickly looked around. To his left, he saw a duck with long wavy black hair in a girl’s uniform and to his right he saw a Labrador retriever with short, black hair in a boy’s uniform. In front of him he saw a male stag, a female wolf, and a female raccoon along with various other species.
W-…w-what in the-?! Trias looked at himself and then noticed that his arms were now covered in fur. He then noticed the outline of his nose in his field of vision; it changed and seemed a bit more pronounced. He felt his nose and was surprised that he immediately felt a wet nose, and his nostrils seemed to have shut. Letting go, Trias quickly looked behind him. There, he saw a characteristic teardrop tail peeping out of his pants. D…don’t tell me that I’m a…fox?! Trias looked around panicked. His actions caught the attention of some of his classmates and the bear.

“Trias?” What’s wrong?” Trias looked at the bear, and everything began to feel hazy. Everything then went blank. He could hear her voice faintly. “Trias?! Trias! Somebody! Slap him!...”

Unh…. W…what happened…? Trias slowly got up from lying down to being seated, shaking his head with his eyes closed. I guess they must’ve brought me in the infirmary…. Trias slowly opened his eyes. …Or not…. Trias saw a fine fog when he opened his eyes. The fog was up to his knees. Trias slowly got up and took a look around. All around him, he could see only a dark sky with ghostly white lights illuminating the horizon. These lights seemed to move in a slow wave while they reached towards the sky, reaching only two meters up. …Please tell me this is a dream and this isn’t limbo or something…. After a while, to his surprise, Trias heard a reply.
“No….” The voice was from a woman. Her voice was soft, yet stern. Trias looked around again, trying to find whoever spoke. He then heard the voice again. “This is not a dream, and this isn’t limbo or whatever you call the plane between life and death either....”
“O…kay….” Trias looked around again, feeling disoriented. “So then…where am I and why am I here?”
“Why do you ask me?” the voice asked back, and Trias decided to just face forward in the last direction he looked.
“Because it seems you know more about this place than me, and maybe more.”
“Why do you ask me still?” Trias just closed his eyes and took a deep sigh.
Seems like she’s not gonna be much help….This place looks ethereal…. Too ethereal even…. I don’t think this is an alien spacecraft, but I don’t think I’m on Earth anymore either…. Then again, could be a very, very large room in a laboratory and I’m the lucky test subject or something…. Trias decided to start walking away. After a few moments, he heard the voice again.
“Where are you going?” Trias continued to walk. A few moments later, he heard the voice again. “Where are you going?” Ignoring the voice, the boy continued his march. After a while, he heard the voice again. “Where are you going?” This time, Trias decided to reply.
“Where am I going?”
“Questions are asked to find meaning, not create confusion.”
“Yet you wouldn’t answer mine.” Trias continued on his course.
“Why do you want to know?” Trias continued to reply to the voice in a polite tone. He had no intention of getting this person angry at all.
“I’ve been brought from my little classroom inside my school inside my little city inside my little province inside my little country inside my little continent and inside my little planet into this place. I do have a right to know why I’ve been brought here and where this place is, am I correct?” He didn’t hear a reply. Shaking the unnerving feeling that this person might have a death ray, or something worse, trained on him, he continued his march. While moving on, he felt an uneasy feeling that someone was walking behind him. Turning around, he saw no one. Hmm…. Trias continued his walk. After a while, the sensation felt stronger. He turned around again. This time, as he looked around, the fog began to part. A few feet away from him, he saw what was giving him the goosebumps.

Trailing behind him was a little white fox. Looking at it a bit more, Trias could see it was the same fox that he saw outside his classroom. He shook his head and then squatted a bit so he could be in level with that fox.

“Hello…. Nice to meet you face to face…. Since you’re here and that lady wouldn’t speak to me, care to tell me where I am?” To his surprise, the fox sat down and opened its muzzle. It then began to utter words; human words.
“Does it matter?” The fox was speaking to him, using the same tone and voice of the boy. This got Trias surprised, knocking himself off-balance and landing on his bottom.
“Wha-?!” He looked at the fox, tilting his head.
“You asked. I spoke. Is there something wrong?”
“Erm…. Animals aren’t…known to talk…human, I mean….”
“Again, does it matter? Here I am, speaking to you in the human English tongue. Besides…didn’t you want to have a talking fox? Or more importantly….” The fox sported a sly grin. “Didn’t you…want to be…me…?” This got Trias’ attention as his eyes grew wide.
“What the-?!” Trias shook his head, scratching behind his right ear. “S-sure, I had those thoughts but it’s just a fantasy.”
“Does it matter?” Trias looked at the fox. He knew the fox was going to say something that would push what he just said out the window. Deciding to beat the fox to the punch, Trias spoke ahead of it, taking a deep breath first.
“You’re here and speaking to me…that in itself is a fantasy…yet here you are…perfectly real….”
“I see you’ve caught on quick. Everything here is real, though how fanciful it seems…. Even your hidden desire….” Trias looked at himself.
“But I’m not-.”
“In time…. You’re not ready to embrace it yet….” The fog once again rolled in and then he heard the woman’s voice speak again.
“Now then…. Awaken….” Trias then began to feel hazy, and then lost consciousness once more.

As soon as he came to, Trias began to open his eyes. Almost immediately, the boy saw a rush of bright light enter his eyes. By instinct, he blinked his eyes a bit while trying to shield his eyes with his right hand. As his eyes were now accustomed to the light, he put his hand back down. He then took a look around, and saw the source of the light; a ceiling light. He then saw the light blue ceiling. It seems I’m back….

He looked around at his surroundings. The first thing he saw was the white bed that he was lying in. He then saw another bed to his left and a room divider with artificial plants “planted” on its top. To his right, he saw the wall with posters of body systems and a Snellen’s chart posted on it with pieces of tape. Yep…. This is the clinic…. Trias slowly got up, sitting down on the bed. In front of him, he saw the desk of the nurse on duty, sans the nurse. Behind it at the corner of the walls was a filing cabinet and a translucent cabinet. Inside that cabinet, Trias could see the shapes of some medical instruments and items. He was about to get up, when he saw two white furry ears peep out from behind the desk. As he looked at the desk curiously, the nurse came in.
“Ah, Trias.” Trias looked at the woman. “Good to see you’ve awakened. You’ve been unconscious for quite a while, little man.” Trias nodded at her.
So it wasn’t a dream after all…. It really happened….
“Did you eat a full meal this lunch?” Trias thought about it for a bit. He then nodded a bit, though he only ate two sandwiches and a pack of orange juice. “Hmm…. Well, I’ve already contacted your parents and told them about what happened. They’re going to go pick you up in a bit. Do you want to rest some more or do you want to wait for them at the guard house?”
“I’ll go wait for them at the guard house ma’am.” The nurse nodded.
“Well, your bag’s right in the lobby…though I still suggest you rest up here.” Giving a nod, Trias put on his shoes and made his way to the other portion of the room, with the nurse giving him room to pass by her. As he walked into the other part, he took a quick glance at the desk. There were no signs of whatever the owner of those ears was there. He then was in the lobby, with many chairs for students needing a checkup to wait in. He saw his bag near the door, seated on one of the chairs. Taking his bag and slinging it on his right shoulder with the left strap dangling from the bag freely, the boy walked out of the clinic.

Trias made his way right from the exit of the clinic, walking down the cemented ground towards the school gates. To his left, in front of the clinic, was the elementary building of his school. Inside the classrooms, the classes were still going on, with everyone looking perfectly human. He walked into the shade of the two-storey building. As he walked, he took a glance to his right and saw the mini-garden with a cement wall that doubles as a long bench along the plant and tree garden’s length. The small yellow and white flowers were in bloom. Behind him, there was an identical building, which was the high-school building where Trias studied in. Between the two buildings were the bathroom and canteen.

Finally at the gate, Trias went into the guard house and placed his bag on the low wall. He then leaned on the low wall and sighed. Mom and Dad are gonna have a fit with me when they get here. He shook his head. What should I tell them? That I had a hallucination and/or an out-of-body experience? I don’t think they’d bite at that, even if it is the truth. The boy took another sigh, and then looked at the garden. But that fox…. Yeah…. It was right…I still want to be what I dreamed…. As he was about to think to himself again, he heard a thought.
That is as your heart says, is it not? Trias became stunned. Even though the thought was in his own voice, he knew he didn’t think of it.
Look behind you. Turning around, Trias saw the same fox seated next to his bag. It was looking at him with an intent look, blue eyes focused on the boy. No need to speak…I can hear you thoughts as you can hear mine.
But how did-?

That does not need an answer, Trias. What does is…are you willing to embrace your desire?
Embrace my desire?
Trias stood more casually now, with the shock now gone.
That is correct. Are you really willing to be what you want to be? Trias closed his eyes and nodded. I see…. Your parents are there. Trias quickly turned around towards the gate. Best to go and greet them. He turned around to look at the fox again, but the fox has vanished from sight.

Feeling a bit uneasy about all of this, Trias picked up his bag and went out the gate. As he took the last step out, time seemed to have stopped. The surrounding street and everything and everyone around or on it seemed to be frozen in time; a tricycle driver was frozen in mid-speech while he seemed to have been talking cheerfully to a fellow driver while a passing ice cream cart vendor was stopped mid-stride as he pushed his cart along. Even some birds that have just took flight were frozen and suspended in the air. He then heard the fox again.
“That was…anti-climatic….” He turned around and saw the fox standing behind him. He looked at the fox, puzzled by what the fox said. “You were supposed to trip…I even undid your shoelaces and all….”
“O…kay….” The fox then shook its head and then it gave a sly grin.
“Nevermind. This works better…. Now then….” The fox lunged at Trias. “AWAKEN!” The fox pounced on the boy. Even with the boy’s surprise, the fox shouldn’t have been able to push Trias down to the ground. Nonetheless it did, and Trias fell. As he was about to hit the concrete floor though, Trias saw a flash of light as consciousness left him, yet again.

When Trias regained his consciousness, he shook his head. Great…. Where am I in this time? He then opened his eyes, and saw darkness. There was no horizon at all as the blackness of both sky and ground equaled. Looks like a new room…. Trias got up on his two feet and took a good look around. Everything was the same: pure black for as far as he can see. Yep…minus all the décor. Well…. This is getting old…and irritating…. Was interesting at first but now…. Trias took a sigh as he turned around. At least there’s no-. Trias froze as he saw something bright on the floor. As he looked at it, he saw it. It was the fox again, swishing its tail and looking at him intently. Trias let out an aggravated sigh. “…This is getting annoying, you know that?” not getting a reply, Trias kept his gaze on the vulpine.

After the brief eye-to-eye period, the fox stood up. It then spoke to him. “Trias…what is it that you desire?” Being a bit calmer than earlier, Trias took a deep breath and replied.
“What I desire? You already know what I desire.”
“What is it that you desire?”
“Right now, I desire to get this all done and over with. If this is a movie, I’m beginning to pity the audience.”
“Is that really what you desire? Your heart says otherwise…. Listen to it…the time is nigh…. What is it…that you desire?” Seeing that this would get nowhere unless he really did say what he wanted deep down inside, he took a deep breath. Deep down, he wanted to be like the arctic fox, having its traits and appearance. Call it crazy but it was his secret desire. Trias knew the fox already knew it but it seemed to him that he needed to acknowledge it himself verbally.
Trias then spoke, taking a deep breath before he said what he really wished. “I desire…to be me…what I see myself as, and what I know deep down that I am.” The fox then started to fade as it walked towards him. As it faded away, it spoke again.
“Be ready for your desire…. Trias Rozano…for now it will come….”

At those words, Trias felt something push at him, pushing him backwards, away from the fox. As the fox vanished, lights began to appear in the blackness. Catching rays of light passing by the corners of his eyes coming from behind, he turned around to see what was causing this. As he faced the source, the bright light blinded him for a few moments. After a while, the light receded. In its wake, he saw the Earth. Well…It’s official…. Looks like I’m not at school anymore…. As he watched the blue planet, he saw rays of light coming from behind him again. Turning around again, he saw a dazzling display.

In front of him was the system’s sun, shining bright. Around it though was spheres of light of all the different hues of the rainbow, creating a giant rainbow with the star. As he was transfixed on the display, he was surprised when he saw the blue planet pass beneath him, along with its crater-crusted satellite. Not wanting to be surprised again, he turned around again, just in time to see Mars pass beneath him.
After a few moments in his high-speed interstellar journey, he saw the asteroid belt. When he saw the space rocks, a feeling of dead came upon him as he went straight for the field. Oh snap…. While moving through, more rays of light shot out from behind him. Curious, he turned back around and looked at what transpired.

The rainbow was still there, but more streaks of the lights shot through. As he watched one of them pass, he saw something peculiar in the light. In the orange ray, he saw a red panda. It looked like it was running, carrying the beam of light as it ran. He looked at the other streams of light, and he saw roughly the same thing: animals running. In their movement, the light moved with them. His curiosity kicked in as he followed their movements with his eyes, hoping to see where they were going. As he turned around, looking ahead again, he saw a massive asteroid in front of him. Gyah! Instinctively, he curled up, shielding himself with his arms and legs and closing his eyes as tight as he could. When the time that he thought that he was going to collide with the celestial body passed without him experiencing any new sensations, he slowly opened his eyes. Woah…. He slowly got out of his curl to better see around him. He was inside a passage coursing in the asteroid, with the rough walls slowly spinning around him as the asteroid spun on its own axis. He could see this all clearly as some of the animal lights followed him inside the passage. These lights slowed down, matching his pace to illuminate the whole area. This provided a majestic show as the orange, red, and yellow lights painted hues of the twilight inside the passage. As he looked in amazement and awe, he felt the presence of a bright light coming from behind him. As he turned around, he saw the same fox as earlier, now in a bright white light.

“Umm…this is beautiful and all, but what’s going on?” the fox just looked at him. Without moving its muzzle, its voice replied.
“Calm yourself and enjoy it all. What is to come will come, but now…just enjoy the travel. You’ll only experience this now…. By all means…forget that I am here.”
Okay…. Sensing that the fox won’t say anything else, Trias just turned back around and looked ahead. Soon, he was out of the passage and out of the asteroid field. He knew he was, because in front of him was the mighty giant gas planet of Jupiter. Exiting the asteroid, he felt a force push him towards the side of the gas planet. Soon, he was flying next to the planet, just a foot above the rings of the planet. It was as the astronomers say it was made of: dust with ice and rock. He knew because he skimmed his right hand through the ring as he passed, creating a ripple in the dust. As he left the planet, he looked at the rings, noticing that his wave has now vanished. Surprisingly as he looked at his right hand, not a single speck of dust remained on his hands. Looking on, he saw Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. No force pushed on him, so he was not able to get the chance to touch their rings. As he neared the dwarf planet Pluto and its moon Charon, he saw where the lights were going to. As the gap between the two bodies widened, he saw a bright circle of vividly colored lights. With his direction of movement, he knew he was going to go into it. After a while, he noticed the light behind him slowly fade. When he looked behind him, Trias saw the little fox suspended in space, not moving at all. Curious, he spoke. “Fox? What is something the matter?” Before his body touched the circle, his body stopped moving in space. There, the two beings floated, looking at each other. The fox then spoke.
“Trias…my time is up…but yours has now begun….” The fox began to grow brighter, to his surprise. “Embrace your new life…. Everything….” The fox’s light became blinding to him. Trias shielded his eyes.
Wha-? What’s going on?!
“Begins….” The whole blackness of space lit up in the same white hue as the fox. “Now!” Suddenly, the fox dashed towards Trias, creating a sonic boom in its speed. As it hit Trias, it vanished into him. The force of the impact pushed him right into the circle, where the lights converged on him and sped him light years away, forming a tunnel in front of him. Inside that tunnel, he could hear the calls of many animals; from yelps to meows, from neighs to bleats, from roars to cries, from clicks to bellows, he could hear them all in there. The whole tunnel pulsated in a dazzling light as Trias could feel the speed on his body. The sensations though were too much for him, and he blanked out yet again. In his mind though, he could hear the fox’s voice whisper its last words to him. “Everything begins now….”

After a half hour, Trias finally came to. Feeling a bit groggy, he looked around to get his bearings. When he looked down below, he thought he saw Earth. Cute…. They put up that display just to bring me back here…. What’s next? Rubber animals and psychedelic music? He then looked at himself. Hmm…. Well…looks like I’m now glowing like them…what now? He looked around some more, getting a feel of the place. After a few minutes of staring at near identical stuff as his own system, he heard a voice.
“Trias…are you ready?” it was the woman from earlier. Trias sighed, since he really had no options.
“I am ready as I ever will be.”
“Then, Trias Seres Rozano…awaken!”

At her last word, a wash of different sensations coursed through his body. Feelings of pain, bliss, joy, sorrow; all of these ran through him, with none becoming stronger than the others. W-…what’s this?! Not knowing how to adjust to all the sensations at once, his body curled up. In that instant, his bodily glow became brighter. His action though proved to be ineffective as the sensations, rather than ceasing, only strengthened. D-damn…. Not being able to take it anymore, Trias let out a scream and spread himself wide, with arms spread out, legs stretched, and body arched. He began to pant; battling the sensations drained him. As he tried to get his composure back, he took a glance at his chest. His recent action earlier made him rip out his clothes, so his whole body was exposed. As he thought about covering himself, he saw something on his chest that made his eyes widen. There, at the middle left area of his chest, he saw a patch of white on his tan skin. As he looked at it, the patch began to grow, creating fur. What in the-?! He brought his right hand onto it, feeling the patch. He was familiar with the texture and feel of it…having had several dogs at home helped him be familiar with it. F-fur?! T-this is becoming too surreal…. The patch of fur slowly expanded, crossing and covering his chest. As the fur spread, he let go of it, staring at it in wonder. It was a tingling, somewhat calming, mellow feeling for him that the spreading fur gave him. Then, the fur spread out in all five directions: towards the head, the arms, the back, and the legs. As the fur spread to his arms and legs, his hands and feet began to change. His palms, fingers, soles and toes started to become calloused as his nails retreated into the fingers and toes. Once the fur reached the hands and feet, the calloused regions of his palms, hands, soles, and toes grew black, forming the paw pads. As the fur crept up the fingers and toes, the nails reappeared, coming out of slits on the fingers, this time as sharp claws. Those changes went unnoticed to Trias as he was focused on a different change.

He closed his eyes, wincing from the sudden wash of sensations as the fur reached his neck. As it crept up his head, his face began to elongate, making him wince and groan. W-what’s-...happening to…me?! His nose and mouth fused, creating a small, triangular muzzle like the fox from earlier. His nose became short, with his nostrils facing forward. His nose darkened and formed an inverted triangle on his muzzle. His whole skull elongated to compensate the change. His mouth’s former teeth began to sharpen, save for his molars, and the empty gaps that were made were filled in by the rapid emergence of his new canines. While this happened, his ears began to move, moving up, copying the position of animal ears. As the ears moved, they started to elongate, widen and become triangular. This process continued even when the fur started to climb his ears. As the fur neared the tip, the change there stopped, leaving rounded, triangular ears. His hair began to change in pigment, becoming a bit longer and growing silver in color. Then, it stopped. Feeling it was over; he relaxed, panting a bit.

Opening his eyes, his now crystal blue eyes surveyed himself. The look of surprise was written all over his face as he was about to give his body a full check when he felt another surge of sensations cross his body. Letting out a scream, he arched his back and winced, struggling with it. I…I can’t take this anymore!
The source of this new was his tailbone. It began to elongate, leaving its inside curve and began to curve outward. As it did, it created a stub of flesh near his rear. This stub began to grow, growing in mass and size. Fur followed as it made a teardrop-shaped tail. As this tail’s fur finished growing, another tail began its own birth. It repeated the process of its kin, creating yet another tear-shaped appendage. The two tails fixed their position so they would be positioned evenly on the body. After which, everything calmed down. Trias panted again, trying to relax. The whole process took a huge strain on him as he slowly drifted out of consciousness. As he slipped out of consciousness, he could hear the woman’s voice.
“Welcome…Trias…. Welcome…to your new life…. Everything…begins now….”

[Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=4&...ype=symbol][Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=W&...ype=symbol][Image: Image.ashx?size=small&name=G&...ype=symbol]

+2: Put a white 2/4 fox spirit token into play.
-3: Creatures you control get +2/+2 and have vigilance until end of turn.
-9: Creatures you control get vigilance, double strike, trample, and lifelink until end of turn.

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